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The Oatmeal Song began as an attempt to write a complete nonsense song. I failed in that, much to my dismay, because the subtext of the song became a kind of musing on the ‘haves’ & ‘have-nots’.
The ensemble involved in the recording process gave it far more depth than I could’ve alone, from the very sharp & angry guitar lines of my favorite ‘Luton Lunatic’- he’s from Luton, England- Kevin North, followed by the trippy pianos & organ provided by Tricia Danieli, Ben, yet again, rolling into the thunder with his drums, Frank- aka ‘No!’- giving it superb bass, and finally Alex Day coming up with the goods on saxophone.
With all that, though, and me thinking the song was finished, it wasn’t until James Conrad came in with a kind of jazzy triad guitar hook in the intro & choruses that the song truly felt complete.


The Oatmeal Song
words by Ryan Voss

Don't feed me any oatmeal
It's more than I deserve
I'll just help myself to some more week-old gruel
Before you kick me to the curb
Only cool people eat oatmeal
With a cappuccino & toast on the side
I'll be fine with this burnt crust & cup o' brown swill
Repeat the daily dose 'til I die

Could really go for some waffles
But I've barely enough for a dollar-menu item at McDonald's

No, put away that cranberry juice!
Cranberries are just cherries with bitter thoughts
At any rate, it doesn't jell with that thick, juicy steak
The one I haven't got
And you know if you don't eat your meat...
...Well, you know what you can't have
Spending the day running on empty
Going to bed so mad & sad & mad & sad

Should be a cinch to watch the cholesterol
No food for thought
But no fat content at all!

So, yeah, no oatmeal for me
It's not what I have earned
Not even getting out of bed today
No energy to spend, no calories to burn
I'm not playing with a full deck
Plus, I'm sick with a head like a spinning wheel
Must be coming down with that Ebola virus
And the goddamn medicine is in the oatmeal...


from One of Us Has Got to Go, released July 1, 2017
Ryan Voss, James Conrad



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